Isabella Stewart Butler

Isabella (Isa) My Nan

Nanny went to be with Grandad Jim in January, 2002. During the evening of Friday 25th Jan 02, she had told my Mum that she had a bit of wind and sipped boiled water to try and get rid of it, in the early hours of the morning she called for my mum and said she had chest pains, mum called an ambulance and they suspected that Nan had had a heart attack, she was admitted to hospital for tests. Dad called me at 7.30 that morning and told me that Nanny was in hospital and not to panic, well of course I did, I got my 2 boys dressed and took them to school and then drove straight to the hospital, praying that she would be okay, when I got there she was sitting up and she did look okay, her heart rate was a bit slow, and they were monitoring it. She was taken up to the ward, and Mum and I made sure she was okay, and left to get her some toiletries, nightwear ect, and let the rest of the family know that Nanny was staying in hospital, we told her we would be back later, she said okay and seemed to be okay, we thought she would be home in a few days. At about 4.00 in the afternoon my Uncle called my Mum and told her that Nan had been taken to theatre to have a mini passmaker put in, we were in a bit shock as we thought she would be fine. We all went to the hospital as the Dr wanted to speak to us and tell us what was happening, he told us that her heart was very weak, and the pacemaker wasnt really helping, (i could'nt take it all in) he told us that she was very ill (I refused to believe that I said she was okay, and she would pull through) he then spoke about ressusitation if she were to have another heart attack that bringing her back would not be a good thing just make her weaker. We had to make a decision wether or not to to do this, we decided after a long and heartbreaking discussion that we should let her go, so then she would not suffer anymore. We left the hospital about 11.00 that night, we all said night, night to her and we would see her in the morning, it was heart wrenching to leave her there, waiting for that dreadfull call. The next day, Mum called the ward to see how she was and they said she had a comfortable night, which was a bit of relief, I was just praying that she would get better and all would be okay. (I was just kidding myself) We went to the hospital about midday, we saw the Dr and he told us that Nan was lacking oxygen to her brain and she was becoming very confused. I couldn't go and see her straight away I just couldn't bear it, I couldn't come to terms that these were her last days. I finally summond up the courage to go in to see her, I will never ever forget that moment, she said that I had grown up into a big girl, she was remembering me as I was when I was little, it was heartbreaking I just could not deal with it at all. I had to leave the room I was distraught. It was about 10.00 in the evening, the Dr's and Nurses were so good they let us stay until we wanted to go. Everyone went in to say Goodbye to Nan, and I just knew I was never going see her again, I couldnt do it, I just couldn't
say "Goodbye" my Aunt Julia came in with me, and Nan had nodded off, so I kissed her on her forehead and squeezed her hand, and said "Night Nan, see you soon" and I told her that i loved her so much. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do! Goodbye seems such a harsh word in that situation, and to me its not Goodbye its just see you later! At 6.00 on the Sunday morning, Dad to called with the dreaded news, Grandad had come to get Nan at about 5.30 that morning.
Her funeral was on the 6th Feb,it was a tough day for all of us, it was a nice service, we had a scottish piper for her, I hope you liked that Nan x

I took it very badly I had to have councelling, it has taken a long time to come to terms with, I now know what its like to be heartbroken because mine is, but every day its got easier, some days I wish I could have a chat with her. Some days I just can't stop thinking of her and I have a secret cry. Sometimes I find it difficult to go to the cemetary, I do try and go on her birthday and her anniversary (her birthday is a day after mine, the 15th Feb, since she has been gone my birthday hasn't been that special anymore, and we always spent our days together) . I buy her flowers every week and place them by her photograph.

Nanny was born and grew up in Oban in the Highlands of Scotland. She met my Grandad Jim he was a Londoner and was posted up in Oban during the war, and they married and came to London.

Together they had 5 children, George, Donald, Fredrick, Gladys and Alistair.
And had 9 Grandchildren,Jason, Stephanie, Leslie, Anita, Marc, Steven, Neill, Paul, Vicki and Jimmy. Also she had lots of brothers and sisters.

Nanny loved her family, she was very proud of her children and Grandchildren and doted on her Great Grandchildren, and her Son in Law Don, and Daughter in Laws, Julia, Liz, Heather and Josie. Nanny got to meet 4 of her Great Grandchildren, Liam, Charlie, Louis and Lucy, sadly she didn't meet the others Aimee, Alfie, Daniel, Alexander and the newest additions to the family, Craig and Leeson, but I’m sure she is watching over them and all of us too.

Nanny was very special, she was like a 2nd mum, and she was my best friend and I miss her so much she was a very kind and loving person. When I was little she used to take me up to Scotland, just me and my Nan. I used to love the train journey, to pass the time, we used to do puzzles, colouring and have our little chats.

She used to love to bake, apple pies, jam rolly polly, bread puddings......I don’t half miss her apple pie.
She loved the bagpipes, and country music. Was always knitting something, when I told her she was to be a Great Nan, she said "oh I will start looking at knitting patterns" she used to nod off whilst knitting and not drop a stitch! Also liked to watch quiz show's, old films and sport too especially, the Snooker, every year without fail we would all be at Nan's to watch the Grand National, and have a flutter between ourselves, its not the same anymore. Nan's house was full at the weekends which she loved. We all have lots of great memories of her, too many to put on here, it would take you a lifetime to read them!

Nan, you are missed by us all and loved very much. Keep watching over us. LOVE YOU FOREVER XX

Isabella (Isa) My Nan

You never said you were leaving,
You never said goodbye,
You were gone before I knew it,
And only god know's why.

A million times I needed you,
A million times i've cried,
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still,
In my heart, you hold a place,
No one could ever fill.

It broke my heart to lose you,
But you did not go alone,
For part of me went with you,
The day god took you home

Lots of love Anita xx